Thursday, September 25, 2008

Doo' Music for Wayward Revolutionaries

Ghostland Observatory

This uncompromisingly in your face electric indie band is composed of front man Aaron Behrens and producer/drummer Thomas Turner. Based out of Austin TX, this two man wrecking crew is rocking live audiences all over the US. Haven't heard of them? Check out the two videos posted here, then check out their website at

I have two videos here because Ghostland has no music videos, only live performances. So I included the studio version of their single "Sad Sad City" and a fan video from their performance at bonnaroo '08, which is so sick it hurts.

Make sure to watch all of this next video, It starts out fairly tame, and takes you to a whole different dimension.

...Why? Because if there's going to be a revolution, people have to get fired up. And to get fired up, you're going to need some good music.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

On the importance of Dessert... delicious...

I have noticed a self destructive pattern eating away at out generation. It is a flame of self hate engulfing the very spirit of our nation and it starts right after dinner. Let me take you through the scenario: You've just finished your meal, you're feeling close to satisfaction and hoping that if you keep sipping your water, you'll get there before leaving the restaurant. Suddenly, your extremely attractive college undergrad waitress asks you the question of the day, "Would you be interested in dessert?" you think about the dessert choices that you took note of before your initial order. An apple crumb cake, or maybe even a chocolate fudge brownie caught your eye, maybe you were feeling froggy and wanted to leap headfirst into a bananas foster cheese cake with a bailey's cream sauce... or something like that. Then you think about your figure and you politely decline the temptation of adding a sugary conclusion to your night... Who the hell do you think you are!? Wait! Allow me to answer that! A Traitor! And for those of you who don't follow my logic, I'll explain it to you just to be fair. So let's just say that on Wednesday you decide that you don't want that delicious chocolate croissant after your meal. Later that night, because of the void left by your lack of dessert, you find yourself binge eating to make up for you craving, trying to gain the satisfaction you gave up in favor of looking healthy in front of your friends. So you gorge yourself on cheez-its, chocolate milk, ice cream, and those little SnackWells fat free devils food cookie cakes (that look so damn good, but are never as delicious as you want them to be) before dragging your swelling body into your room and passing out upside down on your full size tempurpedic mattress. Because of your late Wednesday night gorge fest, Thursday morning is spent blowing feces out of your rectum at such an alarming rate that you can feel your cheeks lifting off of your toilet seat, which puts you off of the thought of eating breakfast, so you skip it. Thursday afternoon finds you in a bad position on the job, lacking focus due to lack of nourishment. Unfortunately for America, your job involves the design of very important infrastructure. So you, being malnourished, doze off before a huge deadline instead of, checking one last time for that one tiny flaw (that we all know exists), before you hand it over to your superiors who immediately begin construction as not to upset taxpayers... How you could you be so careless? And what's worse is that while your beloved tunnel or bridge is collapsing on all of our beloved citizens, You'll be thinking to yourself "Damn... I should've had that pie". So please, for the love of God, remember this phrase: Eat a pie, Save a life. Remember that, and may God have mercy on your sin-sick soul.

And this is for you!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Expounding on Glasses

I hold that contacts and good-eye sight stand for the bane of the existence of our modern community and the death of the discipline of all of the "Free thinkers"; discipline that these thinkers of freedom need. What a bunch of lazy cockroaches. Hmm what could we do? We could actually do something productive, (like march to a resounding fanfare of oppressive freedom) or we could sit around and think freely. Sit around on our asses and think freely. What do free thinkers REALLY think about? If you look at all of the words that have the word free in them what do you come up with? Lets see, freeloader, free sex, free drugs, free deaths, get-out-of-jail-free card, get-out-of-trouble free card, free money, genofreecide, infantifreecide. None of which are moral ideas. All of these terrible things are happening around us. We cry out "Why? Oh God why? Why is there death? why do all of these terrible things happen? Why did MacDonald's discontinue the Arch Deluxe, the burger with the grown up taste? WHY?" And we cry and we cry AND-WE-CRY. I know this sounds harsh; pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and such, and I know that many of you can't afford bootstraps or boots. But for the small price of a few dollars you can dig yourself out of this lazy lifestyle of whining and purchase a pair of reading glasses.Reading glasses look great, of course they give you something to play with or stick in your mouth and shut you up for five minutes, but I hold that the most important thing about glasses is that once you wear them you won't want to whine or stick anything in your mouth. No you will immediately feel a fantastic feeling. That is the feeling of Superiority, Condescension, that aloof removed better than you feeling that so much of us crave and badly need to pull us out of the recession or great depression of humble whining bitches.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Doo' Music for Wayward Revolutionaries


An awesome seemingly funk psycadelic rock band based in Brooklyn (Where me and Jesse are I might add). Check out "electric feel" below, and then check out their website at .

MGMT - "Electric Feel" Music Video

Why? Well what's the point of a revolution with out general debauchery? And for good debauchery, you need good music!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

On Fascism (which gets a bad rep)

There seems to be a mental plague squirming in the dark recesses of the Young American mind that suggests that fascism is a negative thing. If you are one of those young Americans, then all I can say is "Shame on you". Why? Because you've been dancing in the blinding light of freedom for so long that you've forgotten one of life's most important lessons. Discipline. You see, living in a capitalist democracy has not only made us soft and pudgy, it has made us lazy, stupid, and greedy. We boast so much about the power of free thought, but when you live in a nation filled with idiots, where does free thinking get us? What does it get us? I'm for Fascism because I'm fed up with people thinking for themselves when they lack the mental capacity to make decent decisions. I'm sick of lazy, rich, trust fund bastards having a say in the running direction of our economy, while the rest of us have to sit along for the ride (a downward spiral). I'm sick of the smarter, more well rounded elite being smothered under the fat rolls of the fortunate and the wicked, And I say we take this nation back! This time with an iron fist! And with that iron fist we will crush the spirits of the wicked, the Godless, the lazy, and the mentally handicapped! We will march from sun up to sun down singing the praises of our powerful, all knowing, and infinitely charismatic

Better to have the naturally gifted run this country, than the other way around! Don't want to research alternative fuel? Well you don't have a choice! Oh, you're not into stem cell research? We have a holding cell for people like you! Don't want to march in a giant parade holding a picket sign with a large picture of my face on it smiling admirably at the progressive nature of our new Fascist nation? I've got two sets of two words for you; "Suck it!" or "Firing Squad!", and I'll allow you to choose which two you prefer... Am I not merciful?

The Asshole Effect

The Asshole Effect

The youth in this country have no drive, no determination and there is a prevalent lack of discipline. Those generations which we look up to, the cool ones were perhaps lazily dressed, pot-smoking over drinkers who liked to party and didn't bathe BUT!, they were disciples of something great. Discipline. Discipline of the mind, what they wanted to achieve. We are a hopeless generation. A whole heard of youth in credit card debt who bleat and moan continuously about our calling in life, our independence. Wah. Fucking, Wah. Wah-wah. Wah wah wah.
But there is a solution. I have discovered it. A two fold non partisan easy quick fix for all of us lazy whiners. I say two-fold because I have found one solution and my esteemed colleague has found the other.
1. Fascism. WHAT WE NEED MY FRIENDS IS FASCISM! Good old fashioned order. No music except that which is deemed appropriate by out fearless leaders whomever they may be. Gray pressed five button uniforms for all. Bald heads for men. Short hair for the ladies. Marching. Lots of Marching. If we would march more and bitch less I’m certain that in 7-10 Business days we would all be more fulfilled. (Not necessarily more happy in the western sense) but more fulfilled and isn't that what we all want dear reader? Fulfillment. Think on it, how fantastically fulfilling would it be to get up in the morning, put on your grays, check your head for hair growth, and go do some marching!?!?!? If you watch people who march as I do frequently when I am not crying about my life, they just look so damn fulfilled.
2. Reading Glasses. At your local Duane Reade you can purchase a simple pair of reading glasses. Nothing too fancy of course as we in the fascist department wish for a significant lack of ornamentation among our comrades. Something simple. Light and Sweet. And Black. Square. And Boring. Reading glasses will provide us with the asshole effect, the feeling that we are better than others and we are! Or Could feel that way anyway! Imagine a nation of assholes wearing cheap reading glasses. And whenever the Canadians or the Mexicans or any other nation bad mouths us for, say the Iraqi sanctions administered by the Clinton administration responsible for the deaths of over 500,000 innocent Iraqi children, we can cough, and daintily with thumb and forefinger pull our glasses down on our noses, peer suggestively over them and issue a significant cough or snort implying total and unabashed condescension. We in the Fascist dept. call it scoffing.

Yes my friends. There you have it. A healthy fool proof way to save our nation and perhaps, feel a little bit better about ourselves.