Saturday, January 24, 2009

Penises Snapping Everywhere!!!

Ouch! Can You Really Break Your Penis?

Holy shit has anybody else seen this? This is horrifying!
How do you prevent this? eat more protein? Do cock
push ups? More tomatoes, or is that just good for
prostate cancer prevention? either way I'm really
scared for my junk. Hopefully after reading this A lot of
guys will attempt to be a little less reckless with their
little pal.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Doo' Reasons it's okay to be American.

Are you American? No? Well I am... sorry, but I just can't help it. And it's not very easy to be American, not when you live in a place where the Government is widely known to be evil, and your citizens are characterized by their pride, arrogance, and obesity... You know we're not all that bad. In fact, some of us are actually good! And despite the odd turn that our country has taken over the past 8 years, we still live in a wonderful place. So to my fellow Americans, I'd like to provide a few reasons why, the next time you go abroad, you won't have to pretend you're Canadian!

1.TV on the Radio
One of the best bands in America, these Brooklyn natives are never afraid to use non traditional methods to convey political and socially conscious messages. Listen to everything they do.

It's still the best drink in the world. I don't even drink soda, and I love it!

3.Fat people!
We have so many! So if you like 'em large, this is the place!

4.Mediocre Cartoon Ideas.
We've had so many bad cartoons! Entire generations have been scarred by our nation's awkward premises and sketchy artwork, but later on in life it's great to look back at them and think "what the fuck?" and there's nothing more American than that... except for fatties...

They've outlawed it everywhere! Yet we're still puffing away! There is nothing as resilient as the American Smoker! We're dedicated to our suicide and more than willing to leave the comfort of a warm bar to brave 10 degree weather just for 10 minutes of gratification. Ahhh.

I've already mentioned TV on the Radio. Well let's add, MGMT, Yeasayer, Woody Allen, Spike Lee (born in GA raised in Brooklyn), and Arthur Miller (born in Manhattan raised in Brooklyn).Everything good comes from Brooklyn! Including Doo'.

We finally like our President, and what makes it even better, is that everybody else does too! Now hopefully he'll be able to deliver on all of those commitments.

8.Hot dogs
It doesn't have to be invented here, to be an American institution. Hot dogs are... perfect. PERFECT! Eat as many as you can, as fast as you can before you get full ok?

9.It's proximity to Canada
Let's be real. Canada is pretty freakin' awesome. How many Americans over the past 8 years have said "Fuck this, I'm going to Canada!"? How many Americans have dodged the draft by saying "Fuck this! I'm going to Canada!"? It's awesome to know that we have such a great option next door and if we all decide to jump ship, it'll be into a place with an awesome film scene, a great music scene (arcade fire, K-os), and all the pancakes and maple syrup you could want!

10.Cultural Diversity.
Yep. It's pretty obvious. I mean how great is it to be from a place where you learn to appreciate the tastes of Cheeseburgers, Falafel, Sushi, Burritos, Lo Mein, Curry, Rigatoni, Matzoh, Jerk Chicken, Fried Plantains, Escargot, and Borscht as well as the cultures who created them. I guess the problems arise when these cultures clash, due to the fact that they don't have large borders separating them. However, when they work together, it always turns out for the best.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Doo' Music for Wayward revolutionaries

The Coral

The fact that there are so many people who aren't aware of this band bothers me, because they've been around for at least 6 or 7 years. This band (consisting of 5 UK natives) plays the same kind of simple melodic rock that instantly reminds me of 60's rock n' roll ie. The Zombies and The Beach Boys. Listen to "Jacqueline" below, friend them on myspace, and crack open a nice, refreshing wine cooler for the ride. Why? Because there's no point in having a revolution with out good vibrations, and for good vibrations, you're going to need good music... and maybe a wine cooler.

The Coral on Myspace.

Jacqueline - The Coral