Pet Peeve: The story of how you one time nobly tried to give a homeless person food...how they refused...how the reason was because they wanted money for drugs or booze...and how outrageous that is...
Case and point: that is not outrageous. Nearly every time the subject of homelessness arises, someone in the discussion volunteers this bu!!s#it of a story. I get it, you did something unselfish and extended your graciousness out to the community…in vain. There was an M. Night Shyamalan twist and alternate motives! Honestly, could you not have come to that conclusion without embarrassingly being rejected by a person that bathes at Barnes & Nobles. Is that is? Are you embarrassed? Of course they want alcohol. If I bathed at a bookstore, sleep on the street, fought for my life, ate bugs, BUGS!...dealt with the guilt of dropping out of Harvard Law to live by my radical ideals resulting in the abandonment of the thinklessness of mainstream society and homelessness…I MIGHT WANT A HOT TODDY.
Hey Waywards, I just found a new mole on my belly. Its about an inch above my belly button and to the right.It looks so weird, I mean, its never been there before! All the sudden you have a new marked place on your body and your like, “yep, that’s part of my body, its never going away…unless I get it medically assisted!” It is just weird to me.Its their rude intrusion that really ticks me off.Now that I’m of age to make decisions and I am used to the moles I have, I should I be consulted, or something.
Knock Knock, door opens.
Moles: “Hi we’re your new moles, since you have preferences you get to pick we’re your two new moles will go. We usually suggest hidden under the arm, or behind the ear were nobody will see our grotesqueness.”
Me: “Yeah, good suggestions, new moles, I mean, I’d be silly to place you right on my belly were pool side summer outings would suffer.”
They hop onto his body, and his day goes about almost completely unchanged.
No, this won’t happen! They just show up! Like an unwanted cat. My instincts are to throw this mole into a bag and smash it up against a brick wall like I’d do in middle school.
Inspiration sometimes is thought to be lost. Well, Waywards, its not. I just feels so. Inspiration is everywhere, and all it needs is your awareness of its presence.
Not convinced? Shut up! Listen, if your breathing right now, your inspired. If your reading these words, you either agree or disagree and your brains wheels are turning and you have some opinion. Yes. Yes you do, shut up...no you shut up...Your resistance is real, your consideration is real, your awareness is real. Just look at anything in the room that your sitting in and think: where did I get that? why do I have that? what is its relationship to me? There's a story there, there's history and life and possibilities.
I'll do it with you. Ok...I have a scented candle on my desk. Its clean linen smell. Shut up. I bought this for my girlfriend as a welcome-to-moving-to-New-York-gift and on the day we moved into a new apartment. haha- I just now realized we moved into a place that has no washer/dryer in the building.
Holy shit has anybody else seen this? This is horrifying! How do you prevent this? eat more protein? Do cock push ups? More tomatoes, or is that just good for prostate cancer prevention? either way I'm really scared for my junk. Hopefully after reading this A lot of guys will attempt to be a little less reckless with their little pal.
Are you American? No? Well I am... sorry, but I just can't help it. And it's not very easy to be American, not when you live in a place where the Government is widely known to be evil, and your citizens are characterized by their pride, arrogance, and obesity... You know we're not all that bad. In fact, some of us are actually good! And despite the odd turn that our country has taken over the past 8 years, we still live in a wonderful place. So to my fellow Americans, I'd like to provide a few reasons why, the next time you go abroad, you won't have to pretend you're Canadian!
1.TV on the Radio One of the best bands in America, these Brooklyn natives are never afraid to use non traditional methods to convey political and socially conscious messages. Listen to everything they do.
2.Coke It's still the best drink in the world. I don't even drink soda, and I love it!
3.Fat people! We have so many! So if you like 'em large, this is the place!
4.Mediocre Cartoon Ideas. We've had so many bad cartoons! Entire generations have been scarred by our nation's awkward premises and sketchy artwork, but later on in life it's great to look back at them and think "what the fuck?" and there's nothing more American than that... except for fatties...
5.Smokers They've outlawed it everywhere! Yet we're still puffing away! There is nothing as resilient as the American Smoker! We're dedicated to our suicide and more than willing to leave the comfort of a warm bar to brave 10 degree weather just for 10 minutes of gratification. Ahhh.
6.Brooklyn I've already mentioned TV on the Radio. Well let's add, MGMT, Yeasayer, Woody Allen, Spike Lee (born in GA raised in Brooklyn), and Arthur Miller (born in Manhattan raised in Brooklyn).Everything good comes from Brooklyn! Including Doo'.
7.Obama We finally like our President, and what makes it even better, is that everybody else does too! Now hopefully he'll be able to deliver on all of those commitments.
8.Hot dogs It doesn't have to be invented here, to be an American institution. Hot dogs are... perfect. PERFECT! Eat as many as you can, as fast as you can before you get full ok?
9.It's proximity to Canada Let's be real. Canada is pretty freakin' awesome. How many Americans over the past 8 years have said "Fuck this, I'm going to Canada!"? How many Americans have dodged the draft by saying "Fuck this! I'm going to Canada!"? It's awesome to know that we have such a great option next door and if we all decide to jump ship, it'll be into a place with an awesome film scene, a great music scene (arcade fire, K-os), and all the pancakes and maple syrup you could want!
10.Cultural Diversity. Yep. It's pretty obvious. I mean how great is it to be from a place where you learn to appreciate the tastes of Cheeseburgers, Falafel, Sushi, Burritos, Lo Mein, Curry, Rigatoni, Matzoh, Jerk Chicken, Fried Plantains, Escargot, and Borscht as well as the cultures who created them. I guess the problems arise when these cultures clash, due to the fact that they don't have large borders separating them. However, when they work together, it always turns out for the best.
The fact that there are so many people who aren't aware of this band bothers me, because they've been around for at least 6 or 7 years. This band (consisting of 5 UK natives) plays the same kind of simple melodic rock that instantly reminds me of 60's rock n' roll ie. The Zombies and The Beach Boys. Listen to "Jacqueline" below, friend them on myspace, and crack open a nice, refreshing wine cooler for the ride. Why? Because there's no point in having a revolution with out good vibrations, and for good vibrations, you're going to need good music... and maybe a wine cooler.
Kind greetings fellow waywards, today I come to you from my dark, warm cave. We all have a dark, warm cave: a place to retreat and meditate, re-evaluate, dream. Oh, heaven and hell, I understand you as I do. Corpus Christi, why not do what we want to do, if doing is all we have? Yes, sure, we live among law and 'civilized' society! Yes, nature has a way balancing itself, and man make laws and that is nature and balance. Further, we as individuals claim prerogative to decide our own good and our own bad and our own goals and who shall be our friends and the day we switch hands to wipe our asses for the sake of breaking our own routine. We do. We are pregnant. Everyone of us. Inside of us lives an ideal. The rational call it a conscience, the religious call it the holy spirit, the crazies call it a voice - the true self, the deep down intuition, the ding au sich that is always right and can never be wrong or blind or unaware or ignorant. Take its commands seriously, it is you without any tainted influence, obey you as you would do for you. It knows, it knows, its you, its you, do what you do, you, do do doo!
I dont know! Drink a pot of coffee and read a book cover to cover with athletic concentration! Find a way to jump off a building without hurting yourself. Get naked in public! Grab an old ladies hair and yank it! Build a house upside down! Scream, right now, DO IT, right where your sitting, who cares, DO IT, stop thinking, DO IT! DOOOOOOOOOOOOO'
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