Pathos in Prose

I had lunch with my comrades, my seed-heavy wayward revolutionaries - a pot luck. We decided we would not bring food for the body but food for the soul. We passed around a few cigarettes and opened our hearts to each other in a park in Red Hook at an old picnic table. We fed each other substantial spoonfuls of childhood memory, vulnerable expressive idea, offered gulps of personal opinions - no judgment involved! This type of honesty and utter acceptance, my patrons of revolution, is a strip lit path toward revolution.
We sat their with Sir Jesse and listened to his story about the first time he put on reading glasses. How he stood completely still in that same place for 62 hours. 62 hours! His initial feeling of pleasure and empowerment enabled him to ignore the countless Duane Reade workers trying to pursued him to exit the store or at least reposition further from the cashier area. How the longer he went without acknowledging anyone or moving from where he was built mental strength upon courage, and furthermore how he underwent physical tests of endurance from not sitting to rest. He pissed and shat in his pants multiple times! He was not fearful of what others thought or said, or when they took pictures and giggled. Despite managers and watered down rent-a-cops Sir Jesse stood there with dignity for his own accord, then when he was ready - he chose to leave. He went back to his apartment and turned on the romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally. I love that guy more deeply in a wayward way now.
We sat their with Ben the Spider and listened to his story about the day he didn't eat a pie. For weeks - hell - years, Ben the Spider has said, 'eat a pie, save a life'. He opened up the painful memory of the time he was loitering on the street and feeling woozy. A good-natured family passing through happen to pick the Spider for asking directions. The Spider was turned around himself as his focus was all off and he sent them down a one-way road. They thanked him graciously - fifteen feet and one right turn later a hummer suddenly ended the life of that honda civic and any other miserable existence inside the civic. The Spider played audience to this real life real time drama. (He also found one of the five year olds fingers in his jacket pocket. Weird that it happen to fly in just right like that.) His blood-sugar was low for he disregarded his innate predispositional beliefs for the importance of sweets earlier that day at a diner. Ben the Spider feels the burden of that familys miserable deaths. I understand his pain and passions more fully. I, also, love that guy more deeply in a wayward way now.

So as you go about your seemingly boring lives: readers, seekers, and re-seekers; open yourselves up to each other. Share yourselves, don't be shy. I'll bet the person behind the eyes on the other side of the table is just as fucked up and has just as much baggage.

Expounding on Glasses

I hold that contacts and good-eye sight stand for the bane of the existence of our modern community and the death of the discipline of all of the "Free thinkers"; discipline that these thinkers of freedom need. What a bunch of lazy cockroaches. Hmm what could we do? We could actually do something productive, (like march to a resounding fanfare of oppressive freedom) or we could sit around and think freely. Sit around on our asses and think freely. What do free thinkers REALLY think about? If you look at all of the words that have the word free in them what do you come up with? Lets see, freeloader, free sex, free drugs, free deaths, get-out-of-jail-free card, get-out-of-trouble free card, free money, genofreecide, infantifreecide. None of which are moral ideas. All of these terrible things are happening around us. We cry out "Why? Oh God why? Why is there death? why do all of these terrible things happen? Why did MacDonald's discontinue the Arch Deluxe, the burger with the grown up taste? WHY?" And we cry and we cry AND-WE-CRY. I know this sounds harsh; pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and such, and I know that many of you can't afford bootstraps or boots. But for the small price of a few dollars you can dig yourself out of this lazy lifestyle of whining and purchase a pair of reading glasses.Reading glasses look great, of course they give you something to play with or stick in your mouth and shut you up for five minutes, but I hold that the most important thing about glasses is that once you wear them you won't want to whine or stick anything in your mouth. No you will immediately feel a fantastic feeling. That is the feeling of Superiority, Condescension, that aloof removed better than you feeling that so much of us crave and badly need to pull us out of the recession or great depression of humble whining bitches.

The Asshole Effect

The Asshole Effect

The youth in this country have no drive, no determination and there is a prevalent lack of discipline. Those generations which we look up to, the cool ones were perhaps lazily dressed, pot-smoking over drinkers who liked to party and didn't bathe BUT!, they were disciples of something great. Discipline. Discipline of the mind, what they wanted to achieve. We are a hopeless generation. A whole heard of youth in credit card debt who bleat and moan continuously about our calling in life, our independence. Wah. Fucking, Wah. Wah-wah. Wah wah wah.
But there is a solution. I have discovered it. A two fold non partisan easy quick fix for all of us lazy whiners. I say two-fold because I have found one solution and my esteemed colleague has found the other.
1. Fascism. WHAT WE NEED MY FRIENDS IS FASCISM! Good old fashioned order. No music except that which is deemed appropriate by out fearless leaders whomever they may be. Gray pressed five button uniforms for all. Bald heads for men. Short hair for the ladies. Marching. Lots of Marching. If we would march more and bitch less I’m certain that in 7-10 Business days we would all be more fulfilled. (Not necessarily more happy in the western sense) but more fulfilled and isn't that what we all want dear reader? Fulfillment. Think on it, how fantastically fulfilling would it be to get up in the morning, put on your grays, check your head for hair growth, and go do some marching!?!?!? If you watch people who march as I do frequently when I am not crying about my life, they just look so damn fulfilled.
2. Reading Glasses. At your local Duane Reade you can purchase a simple pair of reading glasses. Nothing too fancy of course as we in the fascist department wish for a significant lack of ornamentation among our comrades. Something simple. Light and Sweet. And Black. Square. And Boring. Reading glasses will provide us with the asshole effect, the feeling that we are better than others and we are! Or Could feel that way anyway! Imagine a nation of assholes wearing cheap reading glasses. And whenever the Canadians or the Mexicans or any other nation bad mouths us for, say the Iraqi sanctions administered by the Clinton administration responsible for the deaths of over 500,000 innocent Iraqi children, we can cough, and daintily with thumb and forefinger pull our glasses down on our noses, peer suggestively over them and issue a significant cough or snort implying total and unabashed condescension. We in the Fascist dept. call it scoffing.

Yes my friends. There you have it. A healthy fool proof way to save our nation and perhaps, feel a little bit better about ourselves.