Motley's Pick-up Tactics #41

This particular tactic was a personal realization from the divergence of two co-existing characteristics, but that doesn't mean that you can't use it. One, I certainly enjoy gum. Two, I also have TMJ, which prevents me from chewing for long periods of time without pain. This circumstance seems counter-productive to any goal and yet has really been a blessing, and here's how. When I spot a girl chewing gum I can say, 'hey, do you have any gum?'. Boom: Initiation and common ground established. They offer me a fresh piece no sooner before I say, 'actually, I'd prefer if you give me what you already have in your mouth?'. At first, they suspicion mal intent until I fill them in on my condition. 'I need the gum already broken in,' I say. I then follow with, 'its for my condition, TMJ'. Zip: a condition, ladies love a guy with complexities. They instantly agree and hand it over, 'but it wont have any flavor,' they say. As I take the gum and its too late for them to turn back, I put it in my mouth and say, 'sure it does, its got _____ flavor' and fill in her name. Pow: you've just broken the self-contention and expressed your interest. Your in.
Plus, how kinky is that that you have her gum in your mouth! Its a real winner. I recently went out to eat with nice piece of fall-for-the-condition-ass that chewed up my steak for me, at Applebee's! I could feel her spit mixing with mine as she passed the chewed steak to me.
What I'm actually doing is seducing the date by igniting deep seeded motherly instincts just as a mother bird upchucks chuck for the baby bird during fledging - its the same psychology. Careful, the birds compulsion becomes and addiction. Fall-for-the-condition-ass from the past blow up my cell all the time. "Motley, can I please come over and chew some macaroni for you." "Motley, I know you love beef jerky, I just happen to have some here at my apartment, please, come over and let me feed it to you, I'm already chewing". Damn, bird, slow down, I just met you!
Listen, I've filled you in a huge dating tactic, but use it wisely. And remember: after you've spent tactic #41 as a pick-up you can never participate in food foreplay with that bird again. I repeat, food foreplay is off limits. Take it from the creator himself, I had a bad accident with a girl named Annette and a hotdog bun. Go get'em!