On Fascism (which gets a bad rep)

There seems to be a mental plague squirming in the dark recesses of the Young American mind that suggests that fascism is a negative thing. If you are one of those young Americans, then all I can say is "Shame on you". Why? Because you've been dancing in the blinding light of freedom for so long that you've forgotten one of life's most important lessons. Discipline. You see, living in a capitalist democracy has not only made us soft and pudgy, it has made us lazy, stupid, and greedy. We boast so much about the power of free thought, but when you live in a nation filled with idiots, where does free thinking get us? What does it get us? I'm for Fascism because I'm fed up with people thinking for themselves when they lack the mental capacity to make decent decisions. I'm sick of lazy, rich, trust fund bastards having a say in the running direction of our economy, while the rest of us have to sit along for the ride (a downward spiral). I'm sick of the smarter, more well rounded elite being smothered under the fat rolls of the fortunate and the wicked, And I say we take this nation back! This time with an iron fist! And with that iron fist we will crush the spirits of the wicked, the Godless, the lazy, and the mentally handicapped! We will march from sun up to sun down singing the praises of our powerful, all knowing, and infinitely charismatic Chancellor...me.

Better to have the naturally gifted run this country, than the other way around! Don't want to research alternative fuel? Well you don't have a choice! Oh, you're not into stem cell research? We have a holding cell for people like you! Don't want to march in a giant parade holding a picket sign with a large picture of my face on it smiling admirably at the progressive nature of our new Fascist nation? I've got two sets of two words for you; "Suck it!" or "Firing Squad!", and I'll allow you to choose which two you prefer... Am I not merciful?